You don't know who they are

You don't know where they're at

They'll get you when you least expect it

Sneaky ****ing rats,

You see I'm on the dole

And I struggle to survive

So come on, take pity

With a free tram ride,

So I jump, jump, jump the Met

And I run if I get caught but I do not fret

Because I jump, jump, jump the met

I'm just a dirty, dirty, thieving, little sket,

Met man, met man, you can't catch me

It's a long way yet to Piccadilly

I'm counting my blessings

I'm praying to god

And here he comes, here he comes

Some hi-vis old sod,

So I jump, jump, jump the met

And I run if I get caught but I do not fret

Because I jump, jump, jump the met

I'm just a dirty, dirty, thieving, little sket,

He's looking very mean

He's shouting, glowing green

So I say, I say, I say

You mean I have to pay?

A hundred pound fine?

Nah mate, nah mate, another time.

So I jump, jump, jump the met

And I run if I get caught but I do not fret

Because I jump, jump, jump the met

I'm just a dirty, dirty, thieving, little sket,

And we can jump, jump, jump the met

We'll run if we get caught but we will not fret

Because we'll jump, jump, jump the met

We're dirty, dirty, thieving, little skets.