You Could Drive a Person Crazy - Stephen Sondheim

You just wait

You're gonna see major changes in my life

I meet women all of the time

All over the place

All you gotta do it live in New York

And you meet a girl a minute

And I've met some real special ladies recently

Like right now I'm dating this flight attendant

Cute original odd

Oh and Kathy

You guys never met Kathy did you

Well she's the best

I'm talkin' the best

Oh and then there's Marta

God now she is fun

I'm certainly not resisting marriage

I mean it when I say my life is totally prepared

For a gigantic change right now

I am ready to be married

Right

Then why aren't you

Right

Right right right

You could drive a person crazy

You could drive a person mad

First you make a person hazy

So a person could be had

Then you leave a person dangling sadly

Outside your door

Which it only makes a person gladly

Want you even more

I could understand a person

If he said to go away

I could understand a person

If he happened to be gay

But worse than that

A person that titillates a person

And then leaves her flat

Is crazy

He's a troubled person

He's a truly crazy person himself

When a person's personality is personable

He shouldn't oughta sit like a lump

It's harder than a matador coercin' a bull

To try to get you offa your rump

So single and attentive and attractive a man

Is everything a person could wish

But turning off a person is the act of a man

Who likes to pull the hooks outta fish

Knock knock

Is anybody there

Knock knock

It really isn't fair

Knock knock

I'm workin' on my charms

Knock knock

A zombie's in my arms

All that sweet affection

What is wrong

Where's the loose connection

How long

Oh lord how long

Bobby baby Bobby bubi Bobby

You could drive a person buggy

You could blow a person's cool

First you make a person feel all huggy

While you make her fell a fool

When a person say that you've upset her

That's when you're good

You impersonate a person

Better than a zombie should

I could understand a person

If he wasn't good in bed

I could understand a person

If he actually was dead

Exclusive you elusive you

Will any person ever get the juice of you

You're crazy

You're a lovely person

You're a moving

Deeply maladjusted

Never to be trusted

Crazy person yourself

Bobby is my hobby

And I'm givin' it up