Ladies in Their Sensitivities - Alan Rickman/Timothy Spall

I have news for you my friend

In order to shield her from the evils of this world

I have decided to marry my dear Johanna

Oh sir happy news indeed

Strange though

When I offered myself to her

She showed a certain

Reluctance

Excuse me my Lord

May I request my Lord

Permission my lord to speak

Forgive me if I suggest my Lord

You're looking less than your best my Lord

There's powder upon your vest my Lord

And stubble upon your cheek

And ladies my Lord are weak

Stubble

You say

Perhaps I am a little overhasty in the mornings

Fret not though my Lord

I know a place my Lord

A barber my Lord of skill

Thus armed with a shaven face my Lord

Some eau de cologne to grace my Lord

And musk to enhance the chase my Lord

You'll dazzle the girl until

Until

She bows to your every will

Barber

Take me to