Theme From Family Guy - Brian

It seems today that all you see is violence in movies

And sex on TV

Peter but where are those good old fashioned values

On which we used to rely

Brian it used to be a big time star was elegant as garbo

Or hedy lamarr

Stewie but now we get whores like jenny lopez

You want to curl up and die

Lucky theres a family guy

Lucky theres a man who positively can do

All the things that make us

Laugh and cry

He's a family guy

When I was young the songs were fair

With mister johnny mathis and sonny and cher

Peter but now we get justin timber homo

A heartache all gone awry

Brian the classic films were works of arts

The images were graceful the stories were smart

But now we get matrix revolution

I'm sorry I know this doesnt rhyme

But what the hell were you wachowski brothers thinking

Lucky theres a family guy lucky theres a fella

Sweeter than vanilla wholesome as a piece of

Apple pie

He's a family guy

His smiles a simple delight

He lets me see the boobies on the internet sites

Peter

Meg he bought me my cute little hat

Brian yeah we should have a talk about that

About that and his hat

He's mastered the comedy arts

He says look out hiroshima then casually farts

He's loaded with sexy appeal

And best of all my titties are real have a feel

Brian no thank you

I gave it the office

Lois the brady bunch has got their mike and

Pretty laura petrie has dicky van dyke

But who around here could fill those loafers

But here's a happy reply lucky there's a family guy

Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the thing that make us

Laugh and cry

He's a family guy he's a family guy

Oh my thank you very much what a welcome

I am gunna buy each and every one of you a beer after the show

Whoa whoa whoa I'm kidding for christs sake I'm not serious

Thats expensive look just the fact that I came up with the idea

Should tell you I'm generous

I shouldnt actually have to spend any money

Meg uh can we turn the spotlight down a bit

Brian yeah it is a little bright

You know brian I I just noticed something

With that light shining on you from that angle

You look a lot like jamie farr

Brian yeah you've told me that before and uh

It's interesting because I' thinking you look a lot like britney spears

Really how so

Well you you got that thing going on with your eyes

Like britney does you know where

You know how her eyes are just like a hair too far apart

Uh a a almost like there was some immediate post birth

Surgery that should have been done but it was the south

So they didn't have the medical technology

Oh I see

Mom

Yes honey

I have a wedgie

Lois chris honey wait until the intermission then you can fix it

Well we got a lot of fun stuff lined up here tonight

We got music we got comedy

We got behind the scenes crap from the show

Thats right for example not a lot of people know this

But in one episode of the show there was a flashback of brian

When he was a puppy now they couldn't find a puppy

Who looked enough like him

So they actually built a dog suit for the scene

And the actor of inside the suit was raven symon

Who was olivia on the cosby show

Fascinating bit of trivia

All right okay I got one for ya

You know the sound stage where we shoot family guy

Is the same stage where they shot the golden girls

Back in the 80s right

Now one of the stage hands was telling me a a pretty intense story

I guess there was one night when they were all ready to shoot

And uh the audience was waiting and uh nobody could find bea arthur

So everybodys freaking out and uh then one of the producers runs in

And says cancel the show tonight bea arthurs in jail

Oh my god

Yeah apparently she had a little too much to drink

Before the show and uh they found her standing on the street corner

Exposing her penis to traffic

Oh my god

Ew thats disgusting

Can you believe that

Wait a minute how the hell can bea arthur have a penis

Eh special permit

I say what is it with these actors

They're perfectly normal people in civilian life

And then they come out to hollywood and just go f**king berserk

You gotta watch your language kid

Oh its a record album for gods sake

Lets cut loose a bit

Nipples hehe

Perfect example

Although I must say I am amazed at the language you can get away with

On television these days I I was watching law and order the other night

And I swear to god I heard someone use the word balls

And I thought to myself my god that that dick wolf just does

Whatever he damn well pleases doesn't he

Bringing words like balls into americas living rooms

I wonder how he'd like it if I just walked into his living room

And use the word balls

Uh I think that would be breaking an entering

You know

I am so glad they allowed us to bring stewie this evening

The last show we did we had to leave him at home

They did'nt allow babies in the theater

Well of course people wanted to be able to enjoy the show

I am a show you lack witted beetle head ugh

Oh what a night that was my babysitter was a total *****

Thats very rude

Especially since your babysitter is here tonight

Ladies and gentlemen MS hailey duff

Duff hi mr and mrs griffin

How are ya sweetheart

So was it really that bad babysitting stewie

Duff you want the truth well okay

So after you and peter left for dinner

I no wait a minute lets tell this story right