WASHINGTON POST

Get the news, the very latest news, the news youll never get from any other source, sir.

The Washington Post is my newspaper

The Washington Post the one to read, the Washington Post is all you need,

The Washington Post is my view shaper,

The Washington Post, The Washington Post, The Washington Post, the Post, the Post

So if you're after the latest news, The Washington Post will give you the most,

And if you're craving the latest views, The Washington Post is the one you need, sir!

So if you are after the latest news, The Washington Post will give you the most,

And if you're craving the latest views, The Washington Post is the one to read, sir!

Theyve got the comics and the crossword puzzles, too

Theyve got the help wanted pages and want ads there

So if you think youll ever find a better paper in the world

You better go to church and say a prayer (and say a prayer)

Theyve got photographers and correspondents too

Theyve got a big editorial staff as well

So if you think youll ever find a better paper in the world

My friend then you can always go to Hell, (you go to hell, you go to hell you go to hell

You go to hell you go to hell then you can always go to hell, sir!

You might be wondering about their op-ed page

And if they'll print what you offer as timeless prose?

Well, its agreed at least they'll read whatever screed youve scribbled

Right before they tell you, Stick it up your nose! (yes up your nose, yes up your nose,

Yes up your nose, before they tell you, you can stick it up your nose, sir!

Reporters write their stories down by hand sometimes

They use computers and typewriter keyboards, too

So if you think youll ever find a better paper anywhere

Then you can stick it up your old wazoo, up your wazoo, Hey!