Dirt (Explicit) - Julien Baker/TORRES

Lyrics by：Julien Baker/Mackenzie Scott

Composed by：Julien Baker/Mackenzie Scott

Produced by：Julien Baker/Mackenzie Scott/Sarah Tudzin

You were shouting

Through the screen door

With my back turned towards you in the driveway

I said "What the hell you gotta scream at me for?"

You said "You aren't gonna listen any other way"

Now I'm laid out on the sidewalk

You're my first dial after last call

Ringing you up

Just to ****-talk

'Til I pass out

If you ask how I've been doing

I won't lie

More than half the time

I'm only skating by

Waiting for the ice to melt beneath me

Why do I keep at it?

Sometimes it makes me feel better

Sometimes it makes me feel worse

Used to think that it was magic

Now I'm sure that it's a curse

Spend your whole life getting clean

Just to wind up in the dirt

Got a shortcut into paradise

That's killing me but I still

Gotta try to get there first

You were swinging for the fences

You were running over every cup

Now you're stuck back digging ditches

Still can't decide if you've run out of luck

'Cause it feels like winning tickets at the arcade

Just to trade 'em in for stuff

That you don't want and you don't need

But all that you can take never feels like enough

'Cause sometimes it makes you feel better

Sometimes it makes you feel worse

Used to think that it was magic oh

Now you're sure that it's a curse

Spend your whole life getting clean

Just to wind up in the dirt

Got a shortcut into paradise

That's killing me but I still

Gotta try to get there first